Karma

I know when I was dating Hollywood, I made some bullshit moves. Now I know what I did to my friends and quite frankly..I'm sorry. I had friends cover and for what? I'm not with him now..and that friend who covered for me the most, in the end, fucked me over. Fast forward to this weekend....

At this moment, I sit in a mid south city while my friend is meeting the love of her life. Someone who supposedly went to school with us. I don't remember him, everyone I asked doesn't know him and he doesn't seem to want to talk about our small hometown either. Makes it fishy to me but hey, this is the path she chose to lead.

We met up with the mystery man and as I silently predicted, she ditched me and went with him. Then proceeded to call me at 230AM to let me know they were coming back to MY hotel because they couldn't find one.

Before we embarked on our journey, I asked her if I could bring someone. She was dead set on not having anyone else and when I told her I didn't want to be the 3rd wheel, she stated over and over I wouldn't be. But we all know, and even I knew that was gonna happen. It did.

I tried to make the best of this trip by trying to get some photos done and it was nice to have a room to myself last night but that isn't the subject here. All y'day, they held hands in the car and texted each other back n' forth. Seriously, I could have used someone on my side. I understand if she didn't want sporto to come but I have a friend that we could have picked up along the way.

Either way, its almost time for us to leave and as adimate as she was about not having anyone else come with...I'm the same way about leaving. I want to be on the road by 8 because I want to get home to MY boyfriend. Who I miss very very much.

We have 600 miles to go and a long time in the car. I just might let her have it. I'm so furious.

Finding myself in unusual situations

Did I mention Sporto has kids?! Oh yeah. Two. I call it trying out for the role of step mom. But, sometimes I have my doubts.

I met the kids a few weeks after we started dating. Every time he asked me when I wanted to meet them I told him the ball was in his court, when he felt the time was right, then we'd do it.
Then came the news his family was coming in from out of state for a birthday party. So now the time crunch was on. His mission was for me to meet the kids before I met his mom.

Side note. 13 months, I never met Harleys family. 2 months, I meeting Sporto's mom and kids.

I kept looking at the calendar and knew time was running out until the Saturday before, I found myself at the dinner table. Just the four of us. I could only imagine what his daughter was thinking. Considering I was told from everyone she'd be the worst one to deal with. She texted the whole entire time. So I'm thinking she's texting her mom, friends, aliens who knows. All I could picture the texts to be was something like...I'm out with my dad's new gf, boring, wtf and who knows what other abbreviations she used.

Then I found out he told the kids about me as I picked them up.

Dinner was short and sweet and I couldn't wait for them to get picked up so I could grab and adult beverage...a VERY STRONG adult beverage.
It was then when I first started thinking, whoa, this isn't the life for me.

Then I thought, when you start questioning yourself that is when things happen.

Since then, we've had breakfast. One dinner a night has now turned into family nights on Tuesdays. And I took them to the city and even took his daughter to a ballgame on our own. We've taken the kids here and there and I can tell when we're all in the car together, Sporto is loving his life.

I think they like me. He says they love me. I'm not here to take the place of their mom. I think is great that they ask if I'm gonna be at their events. I'm grateful that Sporto and his ex and work it out because of the kids. At one of the events, the ex was there, I grabbed my phone and pretended to be on a work call.

Yes, I know I'll have to deal with her one day. But hey, we're only almost 4 months into this.

However, tonight.

Sporto called and has just told me now that he's running late and wants me to go to the daughter's talent show. Alone. She's expecting you at 630. I have 2 hours to show time. I've already called my backups in. I know the ex is going to be there. I just don't feel comfortable. I know sporto just wants his family together. I can see it, I can tell. I'm not opposed to going, I'm not ready to be friendly yet.

I know that sounds wrong and someday we'll get there. I'm sure. So far so good. I just don't want to rush a good thing to where it turns bad.

I'm so bad

at keeping up with this. But you know by now...if time passes and you don't hear from me....there must be men around. And there is.

A Saturday night back in January, I was working late and about to meet Harley for dinner. I left the white collar sweat shop and started to meet at that time ...the guy I was already dating for a year. My phone rang, it was a number I didn't know. Normally, I would let it go to the voice mail and pick it up later but for some reason...I answered it.

I was not expecting the voice on the other end. After I asked him five times if this was a joke, and throw in there a number of "are you serious" phrases. It was a guy I've had a crush on since high school. He asked what I was doing the next day. Well the next day, I had an appointment in the state next door. I asked why and he said -- he wanted to know if I wanted to "hang out".

By now, I'm almost to my dinner date and not wanting to let go of this opportunity. I said, I have to meet some friends for dinner but I'll go out tonight. Having said that, I knew, I just nailed many nails in the coffin.

So now I'm having dinner with Harley. Its another blah dinner with slow conversation but now I have -- lets call him -- Sporto. Yes, sporto texting me. I did all I could to hurry up dinner with Harley and get back to base to see if Sporto really was the real deal.

Now some background on Sporto. Our families are friends, best friends. We pretty much know each others baggage going into this. I know he's got two kids, I have none. I have two dogs. I know he's been in trouble. I have not. And we're both living at home due to recent divorce issues.

I fly back to town, get to the bar and sure enough. He's there. I'm in shock. Now I'm getting these I can't believe he finally called me moments. You know the moments where you just stare and shut up because you can't find the words. I mean I'm usually quick witted but not with him.

Now, knowing I have to be up at 5AM to make my trip, we decided to go to a few bars to talk. We run into his dad who was so thrilled he left us money at one bar when we got there. And at that bar was the same bartender who was there a few weeks before when I asked about him. mmm...

So now we're drinking, talking -- he tells me he's had my number for weeks and just now made the call. I'm thinking if you would have called me when you got my number that would have eliminated a few mistakes I made the week before. (More on that later)...

Its almost bar close, I know I have to leave and now Sporto want to go with me to my meeting. I'm like I can't take you. As much as I would LOVE to, I can't. Then he looks at me and says I just wanna kiss you now. And I'm dying on all levels.

To make a long story short..after a short make out session. I'm on my way home not knowing what to think because I have to be up in like 180 min and I've have WAY to much to drink. But I'm also flying high on Sporto.

Its been over three months. Sporto and I are still together. Harley is gone, but we still talk. And we talk more now because he wants me back. Its cute but I just don't know.

I promise I'll fill in the blanks even more. Because I do have interesting stories to tell since Sporto is here.

Homeless.

Its a Saturday morning and I'm at work. Not that I want to be its just that I get more done when I'm alone. Other than blog here.

Its official, I'm no longer a homeowner. Since the ex and I refinanced and went with chase, I was able to keep track of the payments via my bank log in. That is how I knew he was making the payments long after I left. Per the divorce decree, the ex had 90 days to refi the house or put it on the market. I knew the date in my mind. Between Christmas and New Years, he sent me documents to sign to get my name off. I signed them, mailed them back and heard nothing.

The date came and went. I did nothing. The sheer thought of spending more money to go back to court made me sick. And lets face it. I'm in no financial shape for a mortgage right now. So I let it slide a few days.

Then I found my balls and I sent him a text. Did you refi the house. Immediately he sent a text back. I was shocked. His responses where short. I didn't expect a long drawn out response. Honestly, I was thrilled he sent a text back and that I didn't have to take his ass back to court.
I then asked him if he was still pissed at me -- his response came back simply saying no. I thanked him and told him to have a good weekend and to take care.

No. Not that I want him to be pissed at me but it was a sure fire sign it was way over. It had been for years. But now, its really over. Done. I have no more ties to a former life.

My next goal is to totally eliminate my former last name. I'd say on the scale of progress, I'm sitting at a 85%. I still need to take care of my passport and a former email account that we shared. Which, I started to do last night. Then there will be nothing left.

Speaking of cleaning out email accounts.

I was going thru my email and damn do I save everything. Out of the 400+ emails I had sitting in my gmail account, a majority were from Hollywood. I started to read some then just got mad and furious. I just started to check them all and delete them. Why read them? He did manage to send me a text from LA -- I simply said Bye. I haven't heard from him since. In true Hollywood fashion, he'll surface in a month or so. I think then I'll tell him I got married.

I had to be the one to make contact

On Christmas Eve I kept checking my phone for text messages or emails. I thought for sure I'd hear from drummer boy, after all it was Christmas Eve when it the tide changed.

I found myself at 11PM watching my godson while his parents were out. The ingredients were there and yet again, sitting alone in the living room of my best friends house....I had a moment of weakness.

It was Christmas Eve, I was alone, and the Honeymooners were on....that was all I needed to make the move when I realized there was no email or text. I sent an email that said...where were you three years ago tonight -- Alice.

I knew by my actions, the potential of opening up a can of worms was there. But yet, I felt that I needed to do it. And I did. There was no quick response. It didn't come til Christmas morning when we exchanged two one lined emails. And that was it.

Over, over

On Monday, October 26th. I found myself in the courtroom surrounded by friends and sizing up his lawyer. Within 10 min, 9 years of marriage was erased from my life. I walked out and thought what next.

I'll admit. It didn't go as planned, didn't go in my favor and I ended up paying out. But what I got in return was a chance to find new love and a second chance.

He never showed. I thought it could have gone either way. I should have expected that after months of hiding behind his lawyer, why start today. I'm sure he's gloating. Thats fine. I can live with that because now, I have that chance to do things my way.

It didn't take me long to get the name change rolling. But I did find that the credit card companies are nicer to you when you say you have a name change due to a marriage as opposed to a divorce.

Since that Monday, I've been organizing my financial situation. Looking for things to buy for my new house and finding it hard to believe I'm single.

Even now. In the still of the night, I can't believe its over. I wonder what he's thinking.

Finally a date...

I've been wanting to call my lawyer for a few days now but with some pending medical issues, I didn't need the heartache. Then he called me. The offer on the table for the last few months now has been over money. Let me say, that not once did I ever change the terms of what I wanted. They, on the other hand, did -- several times.

My lawyer calls me and says that my case went before the judge again and the judge said that the credit card debt was a wash and I would still be stuck paying the ex $5000. My lawyer said that was bullshit and he was going to offer them $1000 less in lieu of my ring which has mysteriously disappeared since 2007. I then told my lawyer I have serious medical issues and I want this done and I want a date before I go into the hospital next Tuesday.

Do I have medical issues, possibly, I had a biopsy. Am I going into the hospital, well yeah to get my results.

After I made that clear to my lawyer, that is when the phone calls started happening. In between calls with my lawyer, I was conversing with my friend who is a lawyer and we both agreed -- the numbers don't add up and the ball was dropped somewhere.

Shortly after that, my lawyer called and said they were standing firm on the $5000 and in lieu of the wedding ring, they would draw up the papers. And it would be done in two weeks. Fine. What was I supposed to do or say? I took the date and sucked it up that I'd have to pay this jerk $5000.

I called back my bff lawyer friend and told her we lost. She was speechless. It was a slam dunk case, I walked away with nothing and still ended up paying. I don't get it. What really makes me mad is how fast we got a date and was it waiting in the wings all along and bam when I said I had medical issues THEN things get done. Hell, I would have pulled that card all along. The thought of him gloating and running around telling everyone he made me pay pisses me off. But I'll write the check and in the memo of the check I'll put -- marriage buyout.

After all the dust settles and the ink is dried, people will know that all he is about is money. Its not the happiness, its about money in their world.

The thing that rocks my world the most is when I called the bf and told him, I was gonna be free he responded with a text that said, that's good for us. I finally told him that I was worried that we'd be dating for a year before I got divorced and he said, close. Which shows, he's keeping tabs.

Its like in the movie, You Got Mail..when Meg Ryan breaks up with Greg Kinear. When she says, its the thought of someone else ...or something like that ...is how I feel. I have that now. I'm more content and happier than ever before.

I'm arranging my posse to meet me at the courthouse. I need someone there because if he does decide to show up, it won't be pretty. I'm on the hunt for the outfit. I can finally open my KOOBA purse. And I feel like I can finally be with my bf.

Then I cried. I was angry, pissed, somewhat joyous that this was FINALLY going to be over. I had a feeling I'd never see my ring again, I was just using it as leverage. But apparently, no one else saw it that way. Now I need to lose 100 lbs in 17 days..