And then I got a text

It was after I posted that last blog I sat back in my chair at the hotel then the phone vibrated. 1:30AM, he's texting me. Mind you, its 12:30 back home and he had no idea I was travelling this weekend. The message was short. It went something like

I can't believe this happened to us, I miss you so much.

I was happy for a second then realized that if I started talking, texting what have you..I was opening the door back up for heartbreak. However, after my moments of weakness during the week, I felt a strange sense of willpower to stand my ground. I went and reactivated his phone and we talked for a half hour. It was today that I laid down the ground rules.

I told him he needed help for his issues and we both had stuff on each side of the fence that needed to be worked out. He seemed in agreement. I then told him I was travelling for work the next few weeks and I figured it was a good time to take a break and see where we stood when I got back. Besides, he started school so that will keep him focused on the matters at hand. I hope.

I'm keeping my promise when I tell him that things are changing. I havent been all lovey-dovey to him. Right now, its all business.

Here we go.

I wanted someplace where I could be anonymous. There are just somethings you can't post on myspace and somethings you just need to get off your chest. Like the events of this past week. Which is why I created this blog.

Welcome to my world. I'm a 30 something female, in the burbs of a large city in the Midwest. Who am I? I'm the perfect mix of the Sex in the City girls. I've got the prim and proper of Charlotte, the insecureness of Miranda, the flirty act of Samantha and the writing and shopping habit of Carrie. It doesn't get any better than this.

And now to vent about the guy.

I met a guy off of Craigs List. He posted an ad in the strictly platonic section. Neither one of us were looking for anything but to hang out with someone. Well, it evolved into a relationship. Into it, I started to question things but then left it alone because not only were we great together but he "understood" me. So I thought, last Sunday I found the guy --who I was ready to move in with and marry-- ripping me off. When I caught him, he didn't stop, didn't say anything just looked at me. I was in such shock, I grabbed my stuff and never looked back. He tried to contact me, tell me he was bi-polar etc. We exchanged text messages and agreed to meet. When I called him and asked him where he was, his last words to me were, I'm not coming. I simply said bye and hung up. That was Thursday, it is now early Sunday morning and we haven't spoken.

Sure, I keep thinking he's gonna call. I keep thinking my phone is vibrating. Sadly, while I know in my heart I got fucked over, I know its over. I was fine on Monday til I found out that he was calling an ex-girlfriend. Then it made me question everything about our relationship. Thursday night I had my good cry to get it out of my system.

Friday, I had a new outlook on things. It was time to get my shit together and roll. I got a call about my resume. Then when I got home, the gym that I want to join sent me a coupon for $$ of new memberships. When I get done travelling for work in two weeks, I'm joining.

Then Friday night, our favorite baseball team clinched the division, and I couldn't help but think he was celebrating it with someone else. Then it was Friday night when I was laying in bed and realized I missed his arms around me. I cried again.

On the flipside, I thought to myself, let someone else deal with him. He treated me like shit in front of my friends, never paid for dinner and even hit me up to co-sign his student loan. I never did, thank god, I wouldn't do it. But now I figured, when I wouldn't sign for his loan he was probably done with me and wanted to get rid of me from that point.

An ex-girlfriend of his called me and warned me. I owe her now. I posted a note to her on Craigs list trying to apologize but no avail. Who knows at least I know I tried to contact her.