Catching Up

Wow what a difference a year makes. Well almost a year.
I have filed for divorce, moved out and still seeing that guy.

I waited as long as I could to file. However, after laying in bed endless nights thinking there has to be more to life than this. I packed up and moved out. I was sad, hurt, angry etc. All the feelings that the counselor said I would have that I thought I wouldn't have, I did.

I'll admit that I messed up on both sides. He wanted me to give up my guy and I wanted him to remove his brother from our house. I was willing to compromise. However, I thought him kicking the brother out first was more important considering this guy was actually here and my "friend" was 70 miles away. Needless to say, neither of us was willing to budge and I, in a sense, was forced out.

I admitted my faults but when my "husband" came back with his responses the usually involved money and always resorted to me having an affair. Not what the drove me to have an affair, just that I had one.

I was in a corner. Deep down I knew I was better off leaving -- it was just the thought of leaving that hurt. Leaving my house, my comfort zone and a relationship of 12 years-he wasn't willing to work on.

When I left, I gave him 30 days to kick his brother out. He said he already talked to him and I figured my temporary stay at my parents was just that, temporary. The week I moved out, my 'husband' and I went out for dinner that Saturday night. Everything was fine. We went out the following Friday and Saturday nights. We talked about getting back on track with finances, working on painting the house etc. Everything was led to believe that I was coming home.
That was until the following Wednesday, I called 'husband' to let him know I transferred money. He told me that I had mail at the house and I said, well I'll come by to get it. That is when he told me he changed the locks. Which is illegal mind you. I just paid half the mortgage.
He started laughing saying, I was going to change them back but I didn't want you taking stuff out.
Ok. I was under the impression that I just picked out colors for our bedroom genius. I told him we were done and on the next Monday, I filed.

It is heartbreaking. Its heartbreaking to know that he will never understand that his brother and both their unwillingness to do anything ruined a marriage.

It also pisses me off that I didn't take everything when I did because I can't get back in the house and knowing my stuff is there...really grinds my gears.

Now we're on to the responses of have your lawyer talk to my lawyer.
And I'm still waiting for the divorce diet to kick in.