The only time I looked back.....

was to make sure everything was burning. The holiday weekend and my sales on ebay forced me to clean some things out. While doing so, I found old anniversary cards and oh, a few wedding photos. I looked at them then while dad had a nice hot fire going...I walked out and tossed them on the burn pile. All gone. The only guilt I felt, was the fact that I burned a picture with me and my family in it but I just wanted to see how it felt to actually burn one. I don't feel different. Just happy I cleaned more things out. Less things to move. I say.

I know I can't erase 13 years, but I can sure as hell try.

Boys wonder and genius haven't paid the mortgage for the month of May, so that prompted a phone call to my lawyer..cha ching. Here we go.

Also, while not having gone by my house in a few months...the other night I made three trips past. One I was forced to go that way to work, trips two and three were the result of a friend taking me on a motorcycle ride. It did feel good to get out and ride.

I feel like I'm back on the band wagon as far as paying bills off and working out. This week, I paid over $1000 off and worked out over my goal of 150 cardio min a week. I feel good. Motivation. I just want to look damn good when I walk in that court room.

Been too quiet for too long....

I'm trying to condense my email addys and in doing so I came across a stunning email that arrived in my box on Friday. It was thanking genius for staying and accumulating 900 points at a hotel chain using my rewards number. When I went to click on the account to see where captain happy was...he must have realized his mistake and corrected the email addy. Wonderful.

Pissed yes, I hadn't stayed at this hotel chain for years therefore any points I had are gone. But he still used my number and made it his own. UGH. It just kills me to know how many trips I cut short because he didn't want to do anything and now he's out running around the world. And I don't even care with who. I want this done, I don't want anymore ties to this prick. This is my plea for help.

I still wonder how he's paying for this.......

Well either way, he knows I'm on to him because when I tried to get into the account, it sent an email back to his to reset the password.

I'm so bad

Its been awhile...and I'm sorry about that. Can't say that I've been bored. So let me catch you up. The new year brought many new things one being a boyfriend. Yes, a real boyfriend.
The day after Christmas, I opened my email to find that jackass hadn't switched over his email addys and I was the lucky recipient of his travel plans for March. Seems as if he was going to San Fran. That prompted me to place an Craigslist ad that simply stated Santa Screwed Me. I got four responses...and out of that one...I got a boyfriend.

With that, I kicked the godfather to the curb and focused on a real relationship that contained trust and honesty.

I jumped back into photography and earned respect among the fellow darkroom geeks and my teacher. Between that my 2nd job and building a what I hope is a lasting relationship. I've been busy.

Still not divorced but heard that he's dating. Can't say that it didn't sting. It did. It pisses me off that there is another woman in my house. If we were divorced, fine, but I just want it over. Then he can do whatever the hell he wants and I won't care...but still knowing that you're legally married to the prick and still have his last name...I feel sick. And if its the girl I think it is...well he's already on the path to destruction...because his brother dated her first. Ew, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

We've been to court once a month, been before the judge in a pre trial conference hearing...its always something. Somedays, I'm extremely depressed. I start to see bills from my lawyer, I get sicker.

I went to my yearly conference this last week and actually didn't drink. Seriously, I was so looking forward to top shelf vodka but I knew...if I had one too many, I'd be making phone calls. Part of me wants to talk to the ex....the other part wants to purge him from my memory.

I haven't followed thru on any of my new years resolutions. Which, I MUST buckle down now and get going. I just have ADD when it comes to getting stuff done. And with that...I must go...I'll catch up more later...